At The End There is a Beginning

With the best of intentions, one tries to keep up with everything, but at some point you have to decide what your priorities are and stick with it.

So forgive me dear friends for not writing since I said that I would write and then I did not. I was in revision mode – both literally and figuratively – and so I suspect that had I written it would sound like a lot of ranting. (And you know how much I love a good rant, but still some rants are left for the private journals only to be read after one has passed on. Plus it was a lot of the same thing that got boring even to me.)

Ironically, the last time I really wrote on the blog Mercury was coming out of a retrograde cycle. According to the blogs that I frequent, the planet goes direct today after three weeks in retrograde mode. Did you notice anything interesting over the last few weeks? Were there unexpected delays? Did you feel like you were living something over again? Did you feel like certain things were just too private? I can say that I felt many of these things.  I love observing these things and noticing the cycles.

I  think that it is fitting that I just sent out my End of Semester materials to VCFA this weekend.  At the end of the semester we have to send a sample of our best creative work and a couple of essays, plus two evaluations. I am supposed to tell the school what I’ve accomplished, what I think that I learned thus far. During a period of revision and reassessment, it was interesting that I had to evaluate what I’ve accomplished. It was a lot of writing: a fractured fairy tale, half of a novel, a picture book, countless wordplays, some poetry and critical work.  The novel has a pretty solid outline (that will most likely change as I go) but I feel good about it.

After a few days break, I’m going back to the revisions. I don’t want to stop the writing mode. There will be a critical thesis at the beginning of next semester that will take up much time. I’m excited about the paper. You all know how much I love the critical stuff (because I’m crazy) and I will be looking at The Perfect Man archetype that you are all familiar with from previous posts.

Still, I feel like I’m on the precipice of something. I keep saying, “Okay, I’m ready,” and I find moments where I can catch a glimpse of the potential of the life that I want to create for myself….but…

What I do know is this:

I don’t want to lose my enthusiasm about the things that I love.

I will not allow negativity to take away my power anymore.

I will continue to focus on the things that are closer to my overall goals and not on the petty day to days distractions.

I am putting together some “Best of” lists. So, hopefully you’ll check those out.

Thank you for your patience, my friends, as I continue this crazy MFA/writing journey.