two weeks later

I have decided to take some small action in the direction of my true writer self. Last week, I saw an ad for the Banff Centre for Arts Writing program – a one-week writer’s workshop. My boss told me about this last spring and a friend of mine also mentioned it to me in the summer. Last month, a third friend said that another friend of hers who is in the middle of writing her second book, went to a retreat and found it incredibly helpful. Seems like a number of “signs” to me.

I am to write a paragraph on my current writing project, a history of my writing achievements and provide less than 20 pages of what I would want to work on. This has given me a goal. There are two sessions: one spring, one fall. I am applying for both. I am taking my writer-self seriously. I am saying, “Yes, I am a writer and I want to publish. Yes, I want to study the craft of writing and also be sympathetic to my own creative process. Yes, I want some guidance in how to achieve this goal.”

Interetestingly, I have had to choose from the novel exactly what I want to send. I have been playing with various “voices” and some chapters I feel are stronger then the others. The other thing here is that I have never sent “selections” of something and I wonder if those on the other end will “get it” if I only send a little bit. It is probably more about the quality of the writing rather than the quantity.

I have also decided to apply for that LMM position. I am sure there are many more qualified than I, but I have studied her in my way and I have a couple of projects in mind that I really would like to do at some juncture. To deny that would be wrong.

I am afraid that I will fail. I ponder what will happen to my writer-self if I do fail.

All I do know, is that I spent 80% of my time writing this weekend and I could hear that distant hum in my soul that said, “YES!”